Sherman Loop Trail Hike

Last Friday, the boys and I did the Sherman Loop Trail hike. The trail starts off on South Kettle Crest #13, loops around Sherman Peak and returns on Sherman Loop Trail #72. We hiked from the trailhead in the parking area at Sherman Pass, which drops down into a gorge before climbing back up to cross Highway 20. That section provides quite the climb. It is also possible to follow the road out and pick up the trail directly off of the highway. I would do that if biking the trail. You also avoid a lot of mosquitoes in the marshy area at the bottom of the gorge by taking the road.

Click on the pictures for a larger view.

The trail starts out in thick, cool forest. On the middle tree, there is one of the many squirrels we came across. It wasn't pleased that were there and chattered at us the whole time we were there.

Sherman Peak is covered in these rock fields, which gives it a barren look.

The trail starts out steep. We stopped to rest so I got some pictures of the boys. I told Jake that he always looked out of it in the hiking pictures so I told him to look more intelligent. This is what he came up with.

The trail climbs up through the site of the White Mountain Fire.

Heading into the burned area. Sherman Peak and the ridge connected to it form a bowl. Most of that area burned.

Looking down into the bowl. it's coming back slowly.

There are still a lot of old snags in the area. The burn site wasn't logged afterward so most of the dead stuff has fallen, providing a lot of fuel for the next fire.

The mountain in the background, in the middle, is Wapaloosie, where we hiked last time. The mountain to the left is Columbia Mountain.

Looking up at Sherman Peak.

The trail loops around in front of Sherman Peak and then climbs the ridge. The boys are taking a break here after the steep climb.

The dead snags looming overhead were kind of eerie.

The trail on the ridge, looking toward Sherman Peak. You can cross country here to go to the top but there is no official trail.

The trail on the ridge was lined with lupine. It smelled great.

Butterflies on the wildflowers.

The back side of the mountain had more meadows and was less rocky. There were tons of wildflowers. That's Snow Mountain in the background.

We found a great place to rest for a while. It was shady and the pass between Sherman Peak and Snow Mountain funneled the breeze along there so it was nice and cool.

We met up to Sherman Loop Trail #72 on the Northwest side of the mountain. There was a great view but the terrain was less interesting. The road below is Highway 20 heading toward Republic.

There were areas where the young trees were so thick that it was like going through a maze. You couldn't see very far up the trail. Fortunately, there were no bears or cougars hiding in there.

Looking at the backside of Wapaloosie and Columbia Mountains.

Sherman Lake. We didn't go to the lake because it looked like a mosquito haven.

Wapaloosie Mountain hike

Last Friday, the boys and I decided to try hiking the Wapaloosie Mountain trail. Wapaloosie Mountain is one of the taller peaks in the Kettles. The trail is fairly steep, rising about 1800 feet in a little over mile.

It's a popular trail with horseback riders and mountain bikers. Considering how steep and rocky the trail is, the mountain bikers who ride it must be excellent riders in fantastic shape.

(click on the pictures for bigger versions)

Garret and Jake at the trailhead

The trail starts off innocently enough in a lush forest.

However, it starts to get steep pretty quickly. Fortunately, it gets steep in sections, so you climb for a while and then the trail flattens out, allowing you to catch your breath. With the rocks, the steep sections are almost like climbing stairs in spots.

Here are the boys after one of the last of the steep sections.

After about a mile and half, the trail leaves the forest and hits an alpine meadow. With the cool, wet summer we have had, there were still a lot of wildflowers. Normally, it would be too dry by August.

The view was amazing, too.

The tall peak in the distance is Sherman Peak near Sherman Pass.

I had promised Garret that we would only go 2 miles so we turned back at that point. The trail continues on another .7 miles, where it joins up to Kettle Crest Trail #13. At that point, there is another short hike to the top of Wapaloosie Mountain. That will be a hike for another day.

What I Have Learned So Far and Where I Will Go Now

It was about a month ago that I wrote my "confession" post and got serious again about not succumbing to the cravings. I have done fairly well through that time but it has been a frustrating time as my weight has not responded at all. I had assumed that I would return, at least, to my pre-"carb bloat" weight of around 172. Instead, I have been stuck fluctuating between 176 and 178.

Because of this, I spent alot of time soul searching about whether to stay zero carb. As Kristina and Karen have both mentioned, the thoughts of "why am I doing this if it isn't working" keep rearing their ugly heads. I also read a lot of low carb and paleo blogs and most of them are pretty adamant that you don't have to go to zero on the carbs to be healthy. That works on you, too, when things aren't going your way. I'll have to admit that I have strongly considered going a more paleo route.

With all of the soul searching, I keep coming back to something that is a foundational belief for me - for me to lose weight and be healthy, I [b]must[/b] eat only small amounts when physically hungry. Anything that interferes with that will keep me from my goals. With that in mind, here is what I learned over the last year+ (actually more like eleven years+):

Carbs, even "paleo" carbs like nuts and low starch veggies, screw up my hunger by making it harder to stop eating when satisfied.

Caffeine masks my hunger signals, making it harder to tell when I am physically hungry.

My body doesn't seem to take well to consuming calories in liquid form. Even if I wait until I am hungry to take in food that way, like cream in coffee, it messes up my hunger signal the rest of the day. This is true even with decaf coffee or if I do a shake (cream and egg), so it isn't just the caffeine from the coffee.

Dairy doesn't mess me up unless it's in a liquid form and I eat it with eggs or meat (the raw form seems to help with the sinus issues but I am talking hunger signals here).

Too much fat interferes with hunger frequency. It takes longer to get hungry and I get tempted to do things like eat with my family when I am not hungry. If I eat the right amount, I tend to be hungry mid-morning and then again around dinner time. I am not talking about low fat but just stuff like not snacking on the butter while cooking my steak or draining a little of the stuff that cooks out of the hamburger. I assume that my body will let me know if I don't get enough fat.

With all of that in mind, it is obvious what I have to do to get to where I want to be. Eating only when hungry is paramount and zero carb is the tool to achieve it. The health benefits are nice but they aren't my main concern at the moment, to be completely honest.

Since tomorrow is May 1, I am going to consider it as Day 1 of phase 2 of my zero carb journey. I spent the first 13 months screwing around and learning what worked and what didn't. Now it's time to implement all of that knowledge and actually do it. I am not eating carbs or anything like that today; it's just that May 1 is easier to remember than April 30.

Musings about dairy

My best period of weight loss on ZC was the period between Sept and Nov of last year. During that time, I lost weight and didn't have cravings. I was meat, water and a little black tea only during this period.

The problem, though, was that I never felt great. I kept waiting for the boost of energy everyone talks about and it didn't come. When I added dairy back on our trip over Thanksgiving, I felt really good. My energy level came up and I just felt better.The only problem was I started getting stuffed up, the cravings started and my weight loss slowed.

After I fell off of the wagon over Christmas and New Years', I vowed to get back on track and went beef and water only (I misspoke about this month earlier in my journal). The cravings subsided and I dropped the weight I had put on over the holidays. However, the familiar rundown feeling returned. I also didn't go any lower than pre-holiday weight. Unfortunately, I fell off the wagon again over my birthday the first of February and that is when my weekly struggles began that I journaled about earlier and finally overcame again a month ago.

Since getting back on to ZC a month ago, I keep trying different things to see if it is possible to have some form of dairy so that I feel better but without the cravings, stuffiness and with being able to lose weight. Have my cake and eat it, too, so to speak.

At first, I suspected carrageenan in cream but it didn't change things when I found cream without it. Then I thought perhaps it was the casein and tried goat dairy because it has a different form of casein that is not supposed to bother us as much. The cravings subsided with that but it stuffed me up as much.

The latest thought from reading around is that it is pasteurized dairy that is the problem. I have read quite a few people that claim that they were stuffed up with pasteurized dairy but not raw. Since I can get it fairy easily, I figured I would give it a shot.

I just started this week so it is too early to tell anything yet. I am still stuffed up but it takes a little while to get it out of my system. My energy levels are good and I am not as tired as I was last week when I was trying to do no dairy. I haven't had any cravings since starting but it is still early. One problem I do have is that the raw milk is pretty good and I want to get in to it more than I should but it is also new and a bit of a novelty, so that may play a part.

As for why dairy makes me feel so much better? I don't know. It could be an addict getting his fix, though three months of no dairy didn't help in that regard. I don't think it's the extra fat because I eat very fatty meats as it is. If I have dairy, I eat less meat, so it isn't additional fat. To be honest, I am starting to wonder if it isn't just raising the baseline carb intake just a little.

I am also thinking I may have to grin and bear it going meat only until I am at a reasonable weight and then look at dairy as a maintenance item, like Charles is doing. I am going to give the raw dairy a little more time to see what happens before I do that.

April 21, 2010 update

Yesterday went pretty well. I wanted coffee all morning but resisted. I had a bit of a headache all morning. Strangely, I was also sleepy all day despite getting a decent night's sleep the night before. I assume it's because I am still working the caffeine out of my system.

I ate a burger bowl early on when I got hungry. I was kind of getting hungry again by the time I got home from work but held off until dinner time when I had a thick ribeye off of my slab. I had been worried that this slab wasn't going to be as good because they had trimmed so much fat off of the side. However, it is very nicely marbled and not nearly as dry as the last two slabs were. It's only been aging two weeks but is disappearing at an alarming rate.

I had no dairy yesterday, of any kind. I was still pretty stuffed up last night but I imagine it will take some time to work out of my system.

My weight was down slightly, .2 pounds. That is essentially holding but better than what it was doing last week at this time - going up.

April 14, 2010 Update

As I have mentioned before, I didn't have a clean week all through January, February and March of this year. I would be ZC from Saturday or Sunday through Thursday and then fail on Friday and/or Saturday. During this time, my weight would fluctuate from 175-ish right after a carb up down to around 171 by Thursday. It did this like clock-work.

My last carb up was March 27, when my wife and I celebrated our anniversary by eating at a Thai restaurant and then having some Easter candy and ice cream later that day. My weight shot up to 179 the next day, followed by 181 the next day!

I returned to ZC after that, except for the Diet Pepsi, and I expected the weight to drop back off like it had been doing. I dropped down to the 176 - 177 range but it hasn't wanted to budge since. Since the difference was in the Diet Pepsi, I felt that the Diet Pepsi was holding my weight up so I stopped drinking it last Friday. It has been six days and the weight is still holding and, in fact, has been slowly increasing over the last three days.

I kind of remembered my weight doing something similar last time, so I went back and reread my journal from last September through the first of November. I had remembered the weight going up right after giving up DP but then dropping off really quickly after that. It wasn't quite that simple, though. It looks like I better expect to stay at the higher weight for a while.

I gave up DP and all AS on September 18. My weight started to creep up after that and peaked after about a week (where I am now). After 10 days, the extra weight dropped off and I was back to where I started. On September 29, I dropped all dairy.

My weight dropped a couple of pounds after that but I held it for almost three weeks. On October 22, I started losing again. This loss turned into an almost six pound loss in a week.

Carbs are bad enough but it looks like carbs plus Diet Pepsi is lethal, weight-wise. I probably really dicked myself this time. All I can do is to stay ZC and wait it out and hopefully remember this next time I want to be stupid.

April 12 2010 Update - Starting Year 2

Yesterday, April 11, was one year since I started down the carnivorous path. I wish I could say I have been ZC the entire time but, of course, I haven't. Still, I have seen a lot of health improvements along the way and am thankful for this way of life. My goal for the next year is to stay the path.

In keeping to that goal, I made it another week ZC. There were fewer cravings and temptations this weekend and eating wasn't a problem. I still haven't been very hungry. I'm not really sure where my appetite went.

Confession time #2 - about a month ago, I started drinking Diet Pepsi again. At first, it was just here or there. I started drinking it pretty heavily two weeks ago, about the time I got back on track food-wise. As before, I get no carb cravings from it and this time, I didn't get dizzy. However, I wasn't losing the "temporary weight gain" from my last carb up and I figured that had to be because of the soda because the food was in order.

I had always planned on dropping it again and finally decided to last Friday. I had my last one Thursday night. I had expected a day of headaches but didn't expect anything too bad because the withdrawals weren't that bad when I gave it up seven months ago and I hadn't been back on it very long.

I was wrong. I was useless Friday and Saturday and was extremely sick. Besides the vicious headache, I just felt ill in general. I woke up Sunday feeling better, which was good because I didn't think I could stand another day like Saturday. I had the headache come back for a while on Sunday afternoon but I think I am on the downside of it.

It was interesting that when I first started having one here and there, it was actually not that good, which is why I didn't go whole hog at first. Then, one day it started tasting great again. Thinking on that, I now believe that once it starts tasting good is when you are hooked again. It's like your body is now dependent and changes your brain to think that it tastes wonderful so that you want it more. I have heard that smokers go through the same thing - at first it makes them want to puke and then, after a while, smoking tastes great. I hope I remember this next time I think it's okay to "have just one". Currently, I am not tempted to "have just one" because I don't want to go through another weekend like this last one.

I spent most of the weekend on the couch, trying to keep my brain from leaking out of my eyes. Unfortunately, all that laying around aggravated my back and now it really hurts. It has gone from being just in my lower left back to now going from that spot, down my hip to the front of my thigh. It is very sore. Hopefully it will loosen up soon as I get to moving around again.

So anyway - here is where I am now. No caffeine, no cow dairy, very limited goat dairy, water and meat, mostly beef. I think that should get me going into year 2 nicely.

April 8, 2010 update

My first day of no dairy and coffee went well. I didn't have any cravings for it and my energy levels were actually up a bit. It may just be that I am getting past the induction flu stage.

My hunger levels are still really low. I think I am going to go back to eating strictly to hunger (or to any cravings). I will watch it carefully in case the craving rear their ugly heads again. I was hungry early yesterday and had some ground beef around 8 am. I was feeling kinda, sorta but not really hungry around 2 pm and ate one boneless short rib. I wasn't hungry by dinner time and wasn't going to eat. However, when I cut a ribeye steak off for K, I decided to do a thin one for me, too. It was really good, so maybe I was hungrier than I thought.

My weight was down slightly this morning. However, my body really seems to want to hold on to the weight I gained after my last carb up a couple of weeks ago. It is coming off really slowly.

April 7, 2010 Update - Dairy goes bye-bye

Well, today is the day that the dairy and coffee go. I had planned on finishing out the week. However, yesterday I suddenly just didn't want it any more. I got rid of the rest of the HWC and packed up all of my coffee making stuff at work and took it home.

The coffee and HWC was messing with my hunger signals. I always waited until I was hungry to have it but I was rarely hungry the rest of the day after having it. However, cream alone for fuel was upsetting my stomach. Then, if I ate some meat, I would feel overstuffed. It became too much screwing around. Like Mel says - KISS - so it goes.

I did engage in a little "last supper" eating last night with some cheese. It didn't affect my weight as I was down a little this morning but I woke up completely stuffed up and kept sneezing this morning. It's kind of a relief to have it go.

Dairy is definitely my "bad girlfriend". I keep going back to it, each time hoping that "this time" will be different but finding out that after the initial pleasure, it isn't good for me.

April 6, 2010 update

Nothing particularly interesting to report but I want to keep journalling so that I stay on track.

I'm still on track and haven't had any cravings lately. I thought about a handful of nuts Sunday afternoon but it was easy to ignore the thoughts and stay clean.

It is a little frustrating that the weight is coming off veeeeeeeery slowly. I think it is because I have been more worried about eating only animal products and not worried about eating to hunger. I am actually not very hungry at all but I have been trying to eat with meals so that the cravings stay at bay. Once I feel a little more comfortable about the cravings staying away, I am definitely going back to eating only when physically hungry. I feel better doing that.

I am still dragging a bit too, so I think I am still going through induction flu. I hope to snap out of that soon.

April 5, 2010 update - Made it through a week!

I had a really busy weekend, so I didn't get a chance to post much.

The food part went pretty well. I stayed zero carb the whole weekend, though I ate way too much dairy. I think I was engaging in a little "last supper" eating as I know I have to cut it out and I really don't want to.

I was answering a question last week and wrote that the only difference between the time I was doing well and the time I was struggling was the reintroduction of dairy at Thanksgiving. I hadn't thought it through that clearly, so it was a bit of a light bulb moment. So, now that I hit my first goal of making it through a week staying zero carb, now my next goal is to clean it up some and get rid of the dairy and the caffeine, while staying zero carb, of course. I am still not worried about eating to hunger as I want to make sure the cravings don't get out of control again.

I am only down about three pounds for the last week. My weight was up a bit this morning but it was probably due to the salt in the ham we had for Easter dinner last night. It was pretty good ham and I ate more than I should have.

April 1, 2010 update

As I have said before, Monday through Thursday is not normally a problem for me. It's when I am home on the weekends that I have problems. However, I seem to have a different mindset this week and I am feeling pretty good about staying ZC. I don't know if it is because I have been journalling about my struggles or because it has been really relaxed at home (since the boys are gone) but whatever it is, I like it. The proof is in the pudding, of course. I still have to get through the weekend.

I haven't been very hungry lately. I had a hamburger bowl late yesterday, about 2 pm, and then I basically forgot about dinner. Around 7:30, K wasn't forgetting about dinner, so I cooked up a tri-tip for her and I. I wasn't really hungry at the time but it was a very good steak, one of the best I have had in a while.

I was down another 1.4 pounds though I am still heavier than last week.

March 31, 2010 Update

Yesterday went well. I had back ribs for lunch and boneless short ribs for dinner. The short ribs were from WinCo and were a different kind than we get locally. They were much more like chuck steaks and had spots that were so tough you couldn't chew it completely. However, they were very tasty and the fat on them was very good.

I haven't been eating at full hunger as I am not fully trusting my hunger signals at the moment. Until the carbs are out of my system, I will eat when I feel it coming on but not wait until full, stomach growling hunger. I will return to that after I get over the cravings.

I thought of another reason that I have been having problems on Friday. I work at home on Friday and spend most of the morning on the computer in my office. I like to take a break at noon so I would wait to eat until then, even if I got hungry earlier (that way I could eat while watching Perry Mason). I think waiting that long was helping to set up the cravings. This Friday, I think I will try to eat something early and then follow my hunger the rest of the day to see if that helps me get through the day without caving to cravings.

I was down 3.8 pounds this morning (1.4 pounds from Monday). Whoosh goes the water weight.

March 30, 2010 Update

Monday through Thursday is never really the problem for me when eating ZC, so it isn't surprising that yesterday went well. I don't really have a food plan other than ZC but I am trying to stick with just meat. After the big steak off of my dry aging ribeye slab last night, I really wanted a piece of cheese but resisted. I ended up feeling stuffed after a little while, so I definitely didn't need it.

I don't know why I always want that little extra of something after eating my meat for dinner. It isn't always a carb craving; I just feel like I want something different than the meat I just had. It is probably habit more than anything.

I woke up early this morning - 3 AM instead of 4 AM. I laid there for a bit but finally got up and came into work early. I have a headache this morning and I was also hot, so there was no going back to sleep. I am dreading the headache that is coming. Stupid carbs.

I was up a couple of pounds this morning. It was probably from weighing earlier than usual after a later than usual dinner as well as the last of last weekends carbs in my system. I know that it will come back down if I get my act together but it is still distressing to see the 180's again.

Reboot time, again

This has been a tough post to write. I have started it several times and deleted it and keep putting it off. It is time, though, to get it out.

I have written several times over the last few months about my struggles but I haven't put out any details. However, it is now confession time because I haven't been able to reign myself in through health and weight concerns so it is now time to try public humiliation.

I haven't had a clean week of eating since the first of the year. I start every Sunday with the best of intentions to get back on ZC. Every week, it's "this week is going to be the week I go back to full time ZC". I do great and then become possessed on Friday and/or Saturday and eat nuts or get into the ice cream. I then repent of my deeds and regain control and swear off carbs forever and then the whole cycle repeats.

Every

Friggin'

Week

I have also engaged in behavior that scares me. I have binged on ice cream in secret, even hiding the empty container in the trash and washing all of my dishes so that K wouldn't know. I have also seriously considered purging after a binge, pretty much only being stopped by the fact that I have never been able make myself puke. This behavior scares the hell out of me and I don't know why I am heading down that road. It's like if no one else knows what I am doing, then it didn't happen.

So here I am, hat in hand, at the beginning of another week, determined to go ZC again and stop the idiocy. I am going to stop doing this in secret and go for full disclosure so that if I screw up, everyone will know. I am going to post about everything, so if you don't want to see a grown man flailing, bitching and complaining, you better avoid my blog for awhile.

So why do I think it is going to work this time?

For one thing, I saw this morning that I am now a full 10 pounds heavier than my low and am bumping back up against 180 lbs. It's time to stop the slide.

I also had an epiphany last week. I have been struggling since the beginning of the year, as mentioned, and two things happened at that time that is probably affecting me.

I had cheated on Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's Day (but not in between those days). The holidays' indulgence had caused me to put on a few pounds so I decided that I was going to very carefully eat to hunger as I got back on track with ZC. I was going to eat small amounts when I got hungry and then rely on getting hungry more often to make sure I got enough fuel.

I also started my push up routine (and later added the squat routine). This workout routine really helped to put on muscle and I felt a lot better physically even doing mundane things like climbing stairs and bending down to get something out of the lower cupboards.

I think that the problem was that I was doing something that was requiring more fuel (putting on muscle) while cutting back on fuel intake. I relied on my hunger signals to make sure I was getting enough fuel but it didn't work for some reason. I didn't get hungry more often. Instead, my body started screaming for more food in the form of cravings, probably because I had upset my insulin levels with the holiday cheats. I would end up cheating after four or five days. I would actually feel like a passenger in my body as it would go onto autopilot and start eating stuff it shouldn't.

Of course, I would feel terrible about it and vow to get even stricter with eating to hunger and being ZC and start the whole process over. I think it has been a vicious cycle.

So - I feel that I might finally be able to end that cycle. I have started eating more when I get hungry. I am also not fully trusting my hunger signals at the moment because my insulin is so unsettled. If I start craving, I am going to eat. A little while ago, I suddenly got very sleepy and decided to eat instead of ride it through like I normally do. The sleepiness went away.

Right now, I am not concerned about weight loss or gain. I simply want to string enough consecutive ZC days together to get my insulin under control and get the cravings to stop. If I have to overeat meat to do that, I will for now. I think my hunger signals will straighten themselves out once my insulin is back under control and I can  trust them more at that point.

I have to do this not only for myself but for my boys. They are drifting towards ZC but they see me cheating (not everything, but enough). That isn't being a good role model for them.

March 5, '10 Update

know it probably won't sound like it with the rest of this post, but I am really starting to feel that my mind is getting back to what I call my zero carb zen state. I had that from September through November and did great. I ate just meat and didn't worry about things and everything worked great.

I got thrown off track during the holidays and since that time, I keep going through periods of cravings and doubts about the sustainability of this way of eating. However, after a nice discussion with Kelly and Caitlin the other day along with reading Mel's posts on keeping things simple, I am feeling myself get that mindset back and am feeling much more optimistic about being able to continue ZC. As I said before, it is easier said than done, but I think I am getting there.

Okay, now for the obsessive part. Last weekend, I determined for sure that the milk protein casein affects me similarly to gluten. I did some research and found testimony that some people sensitive to casein can get away with dairy that is low casein, like butter and heavy whipping cream. Butter has never affected me in any way and I have contnued to use it, even during my "dairy free" periods.

I decided to see how cream alone would work, since it was supposedly low in casein. I don't really have any use for heavy cream except in coffee and tea, so I had coffee the last two days along with an organic heavy cream whose ingredients included only cream and carrageenan. It was the purest I could fine. I included the coffee with cream with my meals when I was hungry so that I wasn't eating outside of hunger.

It turns out that it is no dice with respect to the cream. It didn't necessarily bother my stomach (that could be the coffee) but my sinuses seriously clogged up after both nights I had it with no other dairy. I could keep trying things like goat milk, raw dairy and stuff like but I am not going to. I throw up my hands in surrender. Non-butter dairy doesn't work for me even outside the constraints of zero carb, not to mention that it is stupid to keep trying to add back coffee while everyone else on ZIOH is trying to kick it. I will say that part of the reason behind having coffee was that the warm weather has kicked off horrendous cravings for Diet Pepsi that have had me climbing the walls.

Yesterday, I packed up all of my coffee making paraphernalia and took it home. Some of it is going into the garage sale pile. For some really odd reason (probably because I am really odd), I never get tempted to make coffee at home, only at work. I can't stomach any of the coffee I can get close to work, so now I am done. Fini.

There is some proof that gluten and casein can act like opioids in those that are intolerant to them. I am really starting to believe it. Gluten wasn't that hard for me to give up but dairy has been a bitch. I keep acting like an addict looking for one tiny fix or some way to keep the supply coming without somehow affecting me otherwise. I never eat a lot at a time - a slice of cheese after dinner or a splash of cream in my tea - but I want it every day. It's like an alcoholic that only drinks a couple of beers but has to have it every day. I think this finally explains why I feel better when I include dairy - I'm getting my fix.

Unfortunately, like any other opioid, the only way to get over it is to get it out of your system. I think if I can make it through the weekend and the next couple of weeks without a fix, I can finally get through all of this BS that I have been going through since the holidays.

March 2, '10 Update

Yesterday was a good day. First hunger hit earlier than expected - about 8 am - and I had one of my 1/4 pound burger bowls. I wasn't hungry again until after my squat workout. Dinner was still an hour off, so I scrambled up a couple of eggs and threw in a handful of ground beef. I had been eating a couple of hard boiled eggs when hitting a "mini-hunger" but dropped that. I can seriously cook two eggs faster than I can peel the hard-boiled eggs.

Even though I wasn't hungry again, I ate dinner an hour and a half later. The eggs hadn't really filled me up, so I figured it was okay. K had done up a pork shoulder roast in the crock pot. I pulled off a hunk of it, mashed it up and mixed it with some of the juices. It was a bit salty because she had put some Italian seasonings on it but it was really good. It was the first non-bacon pork that I had enjoyed in quite a while. My weight was down a little this morning, so the salt wasn't a big deal.

I was reading Charles' journal yesterday where he was talking about eating dinner until he was stuffed and still dropping weight. Mats also mentioned it. I have been eating smaller amounts when hungry and don't really eat much. I have been a bit concerned that I don't eat enough, especially with my workouts.

Old advice from before ZC that you can't put on muscle without an excess of calories is rattling around my brain. I don't worry about calories but I also haven't really seen an increase in hunger from the workouts. I have been wondering, though, if the cravings aren't at least partly caused by not eating enough for the workouts. I had the cravings before I started consciously eating smaller amounts but I have never really eaten a lot since starting ZC, especially compared to what I read on ZIOH.

Of course, I also realize I am obsessing again, so I'm not really going to try to change anything at the moment, other than really treat cravings as hunger. If I start wanting some nuts after dinner, I am just going to eat more dinner and stop trying to white knuckle my way through the cravings. Other than that, I'll just keep eating meat when physically hungry.

March 1, '10 Update

Not much to report these days. I am still dealing with cravings but I think it is getting better. I wasn't too good about the "no dairy" thing this weekend but I have definitely determined that I don't tolerate casein well so that should help keep me away from dairy now that it is firmly in my mind. It worked with gluten once I knew for sure that I couldn't tolerate it. Nothing tastes so good that it is worth putting up with a constant upset and/or painful stomach.

I have also realized that I have been putting too much time and effort into this. Like I said before, I keep trying to go with what I can get away with instead of just going with the flow and just eating meat when hungry without obsessing over it. I am not sure how to turn it off and "just do it" but it is something for me to be aware of.

On the positive side, we had a beautiful weekend. It was sunny and in the low 50's with no wind. On Saturday, I got our bikes out and cleaned them up and got them ready to ride this season. Then the boys and I went out and rode for about three hours, hitting some of the light trails near our house. It was a blast.

The amazing thing to me was how well I did physically, considering I hadn't ridden at all since last summer and I didn't do so well then. I barely rode last summer because I just struggled with getting enough air and would get winded way too easily. I didn't have that problem Saturday at all. There was one long, steep hill near the end of the ride that I got a stitch in my side on but I recovered pretty quickly. I have ZC and my push-ups/squats to thank for that, I believe.

February 25, '10 Update

Yesterday was a hungry day. I was first hungry early, about 7 am, and had a quarter pound burger bowl. About noon, I was kind of getting hungry but was really wanting some coffee. Since I am treating cravings as hunger, I ate another burger bowl.

I was hungry again at 6:30 pm. For dinner, I cut up the rack of ribs that came with my monster rib roast. When they were finally done, I ate three of them. I probably should have stopped there, but they were so good that I ate another one. That proved to be a mistake. The ribs were so fatty that the extra one took me into fat overload and I spent the rest of the evening kind of queasy. In fact, my stomach is still unsettled this morning and I feel really warm, like I'm running a fever. I doubt that I will be hungry any time soon.

February 24, '10 Update

Yesterday went pretty well. I got first hunger around 10 AM and ate one of my quarter pound burger bowls. Surprisingly, I didn't get hungry again until around 6 PM, even with doing my squat routine when I got home. I was supposed to have my aged ribeye and the family was going to have chicken fajitas (no shells) but K decided she didn't want to make them. So I had to share the remains of my 3+ week aged ribeye. In fact, I had to sacrifice and eat the end piece because no one else likes it. It was still good but a bit chewy because of the dried crust.

One of our local markets had ribeye on sale for $3.98/pound a couple of weeks ago. They ran out before I could get some and gave me a raincheck. It has taken two weeks but I finally picked up a roast yesterday.

I had told them that I wanted a six bone roast. When I came to pick it up, I found that was a bit ambitious. The thing was 15 pounds! It was huge. However, it has worked out okay since my other roast is done. I am going to cook up the ribs tonight and then will start working on the roast in a day or so.

The other day, I was talking to Charles about clothes and he recommended Abercrombie & Fitch as a place to get fitted shirts. I looked through their site and found a long sleeved T-shirt I liked that was on clearance. According to their size chart, I should take a Medium so that is what I ordered.

I finally got the shirt yesterday and tried it on. When I was looking into the shirt before putting it on, I was thinking that there was no way that I would even get it on let alone have it fit. However, I got it on (and off) just fine and it fit okay.

Being fitted, it is more form fitting than I am used to so my mind was telling me that it was too small. K said that it didn't look too small, though, so I guess my mind has to get used to more form fitting clothes. The sleeves were surprisingly long (I have long arms, so this is usually a problem with Medium shirts). However, it doesn't fit well in the shoulders. The seam is at least an inch back from the point of my shoulder. I wonder if that is going to be a problem with Medium fitted shirts and I'll have to choose between fitting in the waist and fitting in the shoulders?