know it probably won't sound like it with the rest of this post, but I am really starting to feel that my mind is getting back to what I call my zero carb zen state. I had that from September through November and did great. I ate just meat and didn't worry about things and everything worked great.
I got thrown off track during the holidays and since that time, I keep going through periods of cravings and doubts about the sustainability of this way of eating. However, after a nice discussion with Kelly and Caitlin the other day along with reading Mel's posts on keeping things simple, I am feeling myself get that mindset back and am feeling much more optimistic about being able to continue ZC. As I said before, it is easier said than done, but I think I am getting there.
Okay, now for the obsessive part. Last weekend, I determined for sure that the milk protein casein affects me similarly to gluten. I did some research and found testimony that some people sensitive to casein can get away with dairy that is low casein, like butter and heavy whipping cream. Butter has never affected me in any way and I have contnued to use it, even during my "dairy free" periods.
I decided to see how cream alone would work, since it was supposedly low in casein. I don't really have any use for heavy cream except in coffee and tea, so I had coffee the last two days along with an organic heavy cream whose ingredients included only cream and carrageenan. It was the purest I could fine. I included the coffee with cream with my meals when I was hungry so that I wasn't eating outside of hunger.
It turns out that it is no dice with respect to the cream. It didn't necessarily bother my stomach (that could be the coffee) but my sinuses seriously clogged up after both nights I had it with no other dairy. I could keep trying things like goat milk, raw dairy and stuff like but I am not going to. I throw up my hands in surrender. Non-butter dairy doesn't work for me even outside the constraints of zero carb, not to mention that it is stupid to keep trying to add back coffee while everyone else on ZIOH is trying to kick it. I will say that part of the reason behind having coffee was that the warm weather has kicked off horrendous cravings for Diet Pepsi that have had me climbing the walls.
Yesterday, I packed up all of my coffee making paraphernalia and took it home. Some of it is going into the garage sale pile. For some really odd reason (probably because I am really odd), I never get tempted to make coffee at home, only at work. I can't stomach any of the coffee I can get close to work, so now I am done. Fini.
There is some proof that gluten and casein can act like opioids in those that are intolerant to them. I am really starting to believe it. Gluten wasn't that hard for me to give up but dairy has been a bitch. I keep acting like an addict looking for one tiny fix or some way to keep the supply coming without somehow affecting me otherwise. I never eat a lot at a time - a slice of cheese after dinner or a splash of cream in my tea - but I want it every day. It's like an alcoholic that only drinks a couple of beers but has to have it every day. I think this finally explains why I feel better when I include dairy - I'm getting my fix.
Unfortunately, like any other opioid, the only way to get over it is to get it out of your system. I think if I can make it through the weekend and the next couple of weeks without a fix, I can finally get through all of this BS that I have been going through since the holidays.